Motivational posters are the devil spawn

Has anybody really looked into the scientific veracity of motivational posters? … I mean taken at face value some of these phrases used to push office drones to new heights are near impossible to comprehend if not outright dangerous….

For example, “Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard”… seriously, not only is this a paltry effort at attempting to confuse the poor worker by running words after each other but it also condones a twisted sort of literary sweatshop where poor talent never stood a chance (not to worry, some day talent will rise up and overcome…just don’t expect it on daytime television)

Or…

“Coming together is a beginning, keeping together is progress, working together is success”…OK... this one is just barely beyond a catch line for a stalker convention and a little dirty (if you read it in the right state of mind…although if I have to explain it to you, you probably don’t travel to that state regularly)

And…

“The most feared opponent is you”…now, I don’t know about you but considering I know all of my weaknesses I’m pretty sure I could take me down if the situation arose…no, I definitely fear that guy staring at me from behind the dumpster every morning …you know the one…one black eye, army fatigues, possibly dried blood on his left sneaker…well HE knows who he is (much love brother)

Or…

“Every strike brings me closer to the next home run”…ummm…no…every strike brings you closer to the next out …and possibly the minor leagues if it’s a consistent event (in the working world I suppose the minors is like working fast food…or being that guy at the major intersections who has that suspiciously fleeting leg injury…)

Even the simple ones such as…

“The Power of Positive Thinking”… what’s the wattage on that…could I power, say a light bulb…or a coffee maker…

Now I know you’re thinking “what a pessimist … those are there to inspire.”(I know that's what your thinking because I’ve tapped into those brain implants of the Uber-Rich [see a few posts back])

No...it's just those damn posters irritate me...if you want to inspire me buy me a martini with the money you would've spent on them ...we'll call it square