Zombies Vs. Ninjas - The List

So I've been pondering the Pirates Vs. Ninjas debate and I think one important aspect of this discussion has been overlooked....Zombies! That's right the walking dead...It's a well known fact that Ninjas and Zombies have had a poor relationship ever since that one office party at Hooters...So to help out with your score cards we've compiled a handy reference list of which group has the upper hand in everyday situations....

Aspect of Lifestyle:
Clothing

Zombies: Whatever they were wearing when they were infected…generally tattered and worn…Kinda like your face(oh Snap…totally got you with that "your face" dig…what are you crying?...I didn’t mean it…Damn your sensitive.)

Ninjas:All black... Period. So black that if you added pearls you could enjoy a nice evening at the opera and not feel out of place.

Winner:Black is the universal "goes with anything" color and Zombies aren't renowned for their fashion sense. However Black gets boring over time and Zombies have that blood and pus stain thing going on that's so bohemian right now. Winner: Zombies

Aspect of Lifestyle:
Fighting Style

Zombies:Mass amounts of undead swarm the farmhouse/mall/man-made cities in the wastelands where you are hiding…You can shoot them …they keep coming, you can blow parts off of them …they keep coming, you can force them to listen to Mariah Carey…they keep coming…THEY ARE INHUMAN!

Ninjas:You may be dead already. You just don’t know it.

Winner:Although the prospect of waiting out your days for the inevitable breach in your security system only to be overrun by rotting corpses while you look into the "glitch" is not that appealing, Ninjas on the other hand have crept through your entire estate leaving no one alive except you... just so you know that you are not safe ... anywhere... That's hardcore.
Winner: Ninjas

Aspect of Lifestyle:
Possibility of Encountering Them in Real Life

Zombies:Have you seen the people at the mall?...The Zombie Apocalypse is upon us and it's sponsored by the Macy One Day Sale!

Ninjas:Ninjas can be anyone. Your mailroom clerk, the bike courier you almost ran over this morning, your mom…that's right all those bridge club gatherings …covers for assassinations with massive geopolitical implications.

Winner: Ninjas win...hands down …You can totally take out the soccer mom aimlessly shuffling from one aisle to the next but to anticipate the strike from the shadows continuously will drive anyone to drink.
Winner: Ninjas

Aspect of Lifestyle:
Chance that you will have to wrestle one of them to assert your Alpha position in the pack

Zombies:If you get close enough to a Zombie to want to assert your Alpha position ...you, my friend, are an idiot.

Ninjas:If a Ninja wants your position in life they will stealthily deal with you and wear your skin like a Halloween costume until your life bores them in which case they will discard you for another. Kinda like that one person you dated.

Winner:Because the Ninja's way of backstabbery doesn't really constitute "wrestling" per se and Zombies could care less who's getting some on the side from that one girl who always sleeps with the last guy alive only to be dragged to her doom through a tiny hole in the wall/floor, this category's a draw.
Winner: Draw

Aspect of Lifestyle:
Ability to overcome obstacles to make your day just that much crappier

Zombies:Zombies are the masters of ignoring all surroundings on a single minded purpose of getting into your head... literally…put a wall in front of them, they will pile bodies up until they can cross it…cross a river, they don’t breath…manage to separate a body part from their torso, they won't miss it...Zombies are the perfect stalking machines...which is why they are turning to paparazzi work so much these days.

Ninjas:Ninjas show no fear, can leap staggering heights, blend with the shadows, are masters of disguise, and have that oh so perfect sense of what household decoration goes perfectly with your windpipe…However they won't even stoop to being paparazzi

Winner:Ninjas lose out on this category all because they have some sense of dignity …wimps…kidding
Winner: Zombies

So as you can tell neither the Zombie or Ninjas outdoes another ....however both of them will remove parts of your body that you will miss (with one of them eating said parts...probably while you're still conscious)....so if you are headed down a dark alley and Zombies fill the end you're heading towards and upon turning around you find a pack of Ninjas at the other end ...do yourself a favor and attempt to remove your heart with your keys...It'll put you at an advantage