If you are a child of the eighties you can remember, to the day, where you were when you first saw a Nintendo in action. If you were lucky you may have caught a glimpse of an Atari 2600 or an Intelevision, however the amazing graphics of the NES destroyed all perceptions of “gaming” as you knew it. That 8-bit succubus knew how to pull you in and keep you there until you were ready to accept its gleaming digital reality. The slick graphics and quick game play of Super Mario were enough to sway my easily gullible , and let’s face it, hopelessly optimistic mind with images of fantastic rescues in the nick of time and good always conquers evil….oh silly, foolish, gullible youth. Now in my thirties I know better than to believe the high paced, gorgeously rendered worlds that the new gaming consoles whore at me but sit and wonder sometimes what life would be like if video game features popped out into real life like I had imagined in those first few moments of Nintendo discovery so long ago.
Imagine this:
You pop out of bed realizing you're late for work. You hurry through your kitchen without time to make breakfast, so you tap the floating question mark box above your head with your fingers crossed that a “magic” mushroom will pop out providing sustenance as opposed to a glowing flower that only ends up giving you heartburn. After devouring your fungal breakfast you hurry to the bus stop just as you remember you left your pass at home. You hurry off around the corner to the floating brick and repeatedly slam your head into them, not in frustration, but in the hopes that golden coins will tumble out of them providing you a way to get to work. After you gather enough brick money you catch a bus and arrive at work, albeit a few moments late. As you walk into the office your boss comes storming toward you with the look of imminent doom on his face. You deftly reach into your desk and pull out the mystical star you have stashed in there, allowing you to ignore his repeated attempt to berate you in front of your peers. After several moments of fury he lets you go (not in a “get back to work” way but in a “if you’re here at lunch I may vivisect you on your own desk kind of way). Now that you have spare time on your hands you decide to see if you can slide down that flagpole on the building next to yours, you know the one that’s always playing music.
Now that I think about it, this is the average day of a casual drug user… That’s why the war on drugs didn’t, and doesn’t, work… it’s not the drugs, prostitution, theft and random killings that drive people to drugs …its’ the slim chance that, just for a moment, they may find the power sword, save the princess and totally change square pyramids from one color to another by jumping on them ( it’s Q-bert people, if you’ve never heard of it go look it up…one of the best mindless, no point to them video games ever) …
Damn you Mario, damn you and the little pixilated, green sewer pipe you showed up in!!!
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